"If a man says something and there are no women around to hear him, is he still wrong?"
"Behind every stupid quote is J.K.H"(Yes, even this one)
Situation: Byron just had sour cream dumped on his pants.
Byron: F**K!
Clark the Shark: Does your mother know you talk like that?
Byron: When I have sour cream on my pants, yes !
"No Mr. Occifer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am."
"The drunker I stand here the longer I get."
Stephen:.....but you saw it; the message I left on the site was really calm; not insulting at all, right? So then I'm talking to this one guy and... well you saw the site, right? Yeah, So I was talking in this one chatroom with them -
Byron: Yeah
Matt: Where's the chatroom on our site?
Byron: Shut up, Matt.
Stephen: So anyway, I'm in the chatroom with them, and so this one guy asks me, "Hey, do you like transformers?" and so
Matt: Dude where's the chatroom on the site?
Stephen: Matt, shut up! So i say -
Matt: Do you like transformers?
Stephen: SHUT THE F**K UP, MATT!
Situation: I was telling Javan to vote for my 'child' in his Biology class and Andrew was walking nearby.
Me: When you go to Biology could you vote for my homely child?
Andrew: What?
(I explained to Andrew what we were doing in Biology, with the making kids and the eggs and the sperm and the voting and whatnot)
Andrew: Oh, what was your child's mother's name?
Me: Uh..................I don't know.
"Go Pop-top!"-Shane
"Stephen shouldn't go to any petting 'Jews'."-Javan
"That's not right, you can wipe off cheese powder, you can't wipe off Big Gulp."-Me
"Ghettoest."-Diana
"I probably have the smallest 'object' in here."-Bobby
"My 'object' can probably fit through a Cheerio."-Bobby
"My 'object' is 7 mm(millimeters)."-Bobby
"Ok [Javan], you out-fasted me."-Diana
"If you put an ant in the microwave it won't die.-Diana
Why did you put an ant in the microwave?-Me
Because I wanted to kill it.-Diana
Forget a magnifying glass, I have a microwave!-Me"
"Guys are 'visually stimulated' while girls are 'emotionally stimulated."-Diana
"I'm visually stimulating you[Javan]."-Diana, while making hand motions--causing Javan to move.
"I can still stimulate you[Javan] from here."-Diana
I'm pretty sure this was the only thing Andy(I forgot what he said he really heard...care to remind me?) heard: "If they do it they tell someone."-Diana
and then...
"Why would you do it in a hotel room?"-Diana...I'd say what was happening, but it's funnier this way....and I'm not entirely sure myself.
"Nelly's Own(Andy): 100% Pimp Juice(Me)-Not From Concentrate(Diana)"-Andy, Me, Diana
"Nothing says I love you like a baby!"-Me
"Ghetto, Ghettoer, Ghettoest."-Diana
"I'M NOT GONNA BE PUNISHED FOR SOMETHING I DIDN'T DO!"-Shane, yelling at the poor garbage man.
"Bangladesians."-Andy
"I'm a minority too, just nobody knows it.-Me
Oh? What are you?-Shane
Asian-Me
What? Injun?-Shane
Asian-Me
Injun?-Shane"
"Free Drug and Alcohol."-Clark the Shark, courtesy o' Emily
"I'm your[Romberg] delivery boy.-Andy
And he's got a package for you[Romberg].-Me"
"I wish people wouldn't scratch in public.-Diana
From tobasco sauce to scratching yourself, I can see the transition.-Me
What's wrong with scratching yourself?-Andy, while scratching his shoulder and arm
'My arm itches, everybody close your eyes so I can scratch it.'-Me, while scratching my arm"
"You[Javan] would look sexy that way."-Diana
"I just stepped on the cheese!"-Diana
"The 'Big D'.-Mr. Browning
Penis?-Ms. Deptula
How would that be the 'Big D'?-Mr. Browning
I know what she means.-Me, to Nicole
Ooh!...Wouldn't that be Richard?-Mr. Browning"
"Punnery"-Rommie
"That's the sun of a gun that ate my goose"-Mr. Harsh
"Die cracker!"-Me, I smashed animal crackers....Javan started laughing
"Asian 1, Cracker 0"-Me, realizing why Javan was laughing.
"We're all racist and yet we're all friends."-Diana, after I told her what happened.
*We're not racist...at least I'm not racist...stereotypes and racist comments make for funny jokes sometimes...like in this case (like Ms. Eaton saying all Catholics are Irish).
"I like the sound of expensive."-Morris
"Excuse me. Why are you[Me]holding my door?-Mr. Harris
Because I always hold the door.-Me
That's ok, you can go sit down.-Mr. Harris"
"I like being disturbed."-Mr. Harris
"Do Jewish people believe in sinning?-Diana
I don't know...probably.-Me"
"Heck naw, I'll eat 'em!"-Diana
"Feilds"-One of Ms. Fields' more intelligent students
"Get out your SparkSnotes! Come on, I know you have them...pass them up now!"-Toni Fields
